Sometimes my life just seems really boring or depressing. I try to find the beauty in things when I go walking outside with my camera. But I realize at the end of that walk, what I have to return home to, seems the same all the time.
I wish my life was more exciting. More accomplishing or overall more amusing to keep me on my toes as to not knowing what Ill be doing the next day.
Most of all I hate going on these adventures alone. Sitting alone or even eating alone with the outside world passing by me and Im just watching. Drinking a sip of what gives me a small feeling of content and enjoyment. But sips can only last so long.
All I ever get is just a bunch of empty promises that never seem to happen because of one's procrastination. Words coming from ones mouth, but to me, I catch them deep in hopes of more doing than just saying. Words I hold close because it seems thats the closest I can get most the time without the feeling of being discreetly pushed away.
To view in advance of what my week will consist of makes me feel so empty inside. As if I already know what will happen on what day. Doesnt seem adventurous to me, like the life I used to live, but just seems like a routine. A routine for what the old and restless do which I know Im not. A routine that doesnt benefit me but anothers and feeling what I feel never really mattered.